Believe in Others

Believe in Others.

Scenario 1:  You are 13 years old, standing in the batter’s box and you have two strikes on you.  Ouch! You look to the 3rd base coach for any signs, even though batters don’t’ get signs with two strikes.  Just isn’t done!  Two strikes is trouble time. That 3^rd base coach looks straight at you, a big grin on his face, and says, “okay, rip a frozen rope.  You’re our best two strike hitter.  Just don’t hurt anyone!”

Scenario 2:  Same place and situation, but the third base coach, rather than encouraging, turns away in disgust on strike two or, worse, mutters about just getting a bat on the ball.

The Hollywood ending means success in both but in reality only the first scenario likely turns out well.  My premise is that not only is the first scenario more likely to result in immediate success, but that even if the batter fails in this circumstance, he is more likely to produce long term positive results.

With two strikes, you probably are not going to hit that ferocious line drive in the gap suggested by good coach, but you will not be destroyed as you leave the box.  You will be looking forward to the next set of hacks.  THAT is what the third base coach gave you. He led forward.  He injected hope.  Not despair.  Heavy words for this circumstance, yet not so far from many everyday circumstances.

You do colleagues and in particular subordinates, a great service when you believe in them and clearly express that belief.

You will hear occasionally about someone’s success as they try to prove others wrong. It is often a theme in sports, certainly at the more professional levels.  Often, teammates will cite lack of respect, the naysayers, the talking heads on ESPN; all are portrayed as motivating the team.

This concept receives great credence when such teams are successful. As a microphone is thrust into the star player’s grill after the game, you often hear some comment that someone didn’t “believe in them”’. But that lack of belief is from the outside.  Within the team, there is no one saying “I don’t like our chances”. The prove-them-wrong angle can only be tolerated when against outside forces, and then it gets inflated for maximum effect.  You will see defending champions acting like they get no respect just as much as the Johnny-come-lately’s.

The potential to elicit the best in others by believing in them is available to all coaches. The opportunity you provide when you believe in others’ ability can result in greater personal levels of motivation.

You know what happens when you express belief in someone?  They want to show you that you are right.  They want to prove you right!

The One Minute Manager is a great book and in my estimation its greatest contribution is the one minute praising.  That quick recognition of a task well done. Best done in public where colleagues will hear.

This locks in a behavior.  Let’s say I tell my admin she does a great job of being uber-courteous on the phone.  I tell her she is at her best when with a difficult caller because her patience shines through.  Meanwhile, I comment that she tries to own the issue and I really respect that.

Note- it is very important that whatever positive you state is the truth.  No sense establishing mediocre performance as the yardstick.  The praise has to be for performance that exceeds ordinary.  And everyone can exceed ordinary.  Everyone.

Back to the admin.  Will the admin think it is no longer necessary to be so courteous, or will the admin want to display at least as much professionalism in future like-circumstances?  We all know the answer.  This is not hard stuff.

The most important people to believe in are in your family.  Everyone deserves a good father.  A good father, among many others characteristics, believes in his child

The father who does not expect much of a son doesn’t motivate that son.  That dad needs to do better.  Not just tell the son.  Not just make it known.  Dad needs to set son up.  What does son need to be successful? What help? What book. What habit? What tutor? What class?

Yes, I’ve heard of people rising from the proverbial ashes and succeeding when there was no support at home, but why take that risk?  I suspect those are outliers. Much more often I suspect the father who does not believe in his child is part of a cycle of prophecy.

Succeeding on your own is fantastic.  My parents were having kids as teenagers and yet put themselves through college while working complementary shifts and taking care of children.  There had no safety net.   It was powdered milk for us in the early years. But they grew up in homes where parents gave them the fundamental personal characteristics that led to their success.   Their parents believed in them.  And my parents did great.

The boss who believes in his team, exhibits actions based on that belief, provides his team the training, environment, and tools that would manifest that success, is much more likely to enhance the performance of the team.

This is not to say that our ideal boss does not find room for improvement. Fodder for a future blog post on www.motivus.org

Indeed, a boss does no favors to anyone by overlooking glaring weaknesses.

The most valuable colleagues are those who bring out the best in others. Recognizing the strengths of subordinates, maximizing those strengths and recognizing achievement against those strengths are hallmarks of high-quality management.

Personal or professional- be the person who believes in others and takes actions that reflect that belief.